Just some random possibilities:

• Jan Brewer Appointed Ambassador To Mexico
• Lebron James Comes Out…Of The Closet
• Tony Hayward Knighted…Sword Slips
• Former Pres. George Bush To Complete Studies at U of Phoenix Online
• Osama Surrenders to Rolling Stone Scribe, Matt Taibbi
• Church Endorses Gay Marriage, Priests To Remain Celebrate Celibate
  
• Busted!! World Cup Huge Dope Conspiracy
• Beck-Pelosi Sex Scandal Probed By PETA
• Stimulus Dollars Printed In Watercolor
• Boehner-Jacko 2nd Cousins
• Oprah-Leno To Wed In Native Alaskan Ceremony
• Palin To Cater Winfrey-Leno Nuptials
• Rhambo To Become Putin’s Chief of Staff
• Michael Steele To Become White Woman
• FDA OK’s Increased Dietary Hydrocarbon Content
• BP Opens Seafood Chain - Cites Increased Supply Efficiencies
• NASA Admits Lunar Landing Hoax
• NOAA Admits Gulf Oil Hoax
• Tiger Admits Sex With Marilyn Monroe 
• Marilyn Monroe Admits Sex With Tiger